Our Husbands Want to be Brides TOO!

Many of us women love to organize every detail of the house and make sure all are cared for, but often times this means we are also saying too much and going overboard so that our husband is not left alone to take care of his duties without our barging in, you know who you are:) ~Well, I'm one of those women too and I'm not proud of it.  It's something I am constantly working on, but I have relaxed too much on "working on it" for the last year or so.  I have discovered that it is a perfect definition of not submitting and as a result turns my husband into a helpless soul who doesn't seem to get anything right...according to MY standards.  That's when I had to say WHOA there cowgirl, you need to get back in the saddle of God right now!  Ephesians 4:16

Things to Think About During Desperate Times

Don't EVER let ANYBODY let you think they have the whole marriage thing down, no matter how perfect they seem as a couple in front of you. Things go on behind doors in EVERY marriage.  There are a couple MAIN things to keep in mind:

You are the ONLY one who knows BOTH sides of your marriage (your spouse does too, but I mean for people you will ever talk to or consult about your marriage)

Once you evaluate your marriage appropriately, you really need to decide whether you are IN or you are OUT and STICK with that decision otherwise it's not fair to yourself, your spouse or your kids to go up and down up and down emotionally...I know we should have made this decision when we said our wedding vows, but things change and people change after that day UNFORTUNATELY.

Are you and/or your spouse Christians and how is your RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ? Not just attending church or doing prayers, but your direct relationships with Jesus Christ? You both need to have this relationship on your own before any marriage can work the way marriage was made to work. So if one or both of you is not close to Jesus Christ then 1st YOU need to become a Christian, I can help you do that if you want and 2nd YOU need to live a life as a beautiful bride so that your spouse will be drawn to that lifestyle.  This is THE determining factor in your marriage along with knowing that YOU are the ONLY thing you can change.
Hopefully these are some good things to think about:) I Corinthians 7:12-16

For Better or For Worse

When we get married, the majority of us who don't create our own vows, hear a list like the following:

"for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health" 

To me that means we will most likely face all of those extreme opposite situations and everything in between.  There is no way a person can stay the exact same person having gone through all these extreme experiences, highs and lows, but the one thing that should remain conisistent is our love and loyalty because the end of that long list is ...till death do us part!  So many people I hear say, well he or she changed and they are not who I married so I have fallen out of love...those FEELINGS are not the vows we took when we married!  Yes, it takes a lot of work, but if we focus on these vows more every day of our married life, we would not be swept away at the first sight of what we think is greener pasture.  And make sure you are nurturing your relationship with the Lord even better since He comes before your spouse and will only make "working on your relationship with your spouse" SO much easier!

The following thoughts are what brought this idea to mind, so please ponder it with me:

What is the difference between a couple who is married, treats each other poorly, has a shelter, a spouse to live with, enough money for all their needs and a car to get around in whenever they need run somewhere

vs
a couple who is married, has a loving companionship, is homeless, has no vehicle and no consistent shelter, yet still remains to do all they can to get back on their feet financially?

I hope you can see the difference with me.  Especially during these tough economic times, people are having to cut back on those "things" that the first couple had to keep them busy and so now there is more focus on the time and love and companionship...When we get married, we need to respect and love and cherish our spouse no matter what changes in life...for Better or for Worse.  That love and respect will help us endure during these "worse" times that a lot of us might be facing right now until we get back to the "better" again.  Matthew 19:1-12

Pictured above is a past "better" time and cheesy things like this are what get us through

our "worse" times, laughter makes our hearts grow fonder!

ToBeABride Hit the Road!

I have to start this off by thanking my wonderful "Fair Friend" connection who made this all possible, God works in mysterious ways and according to HIS purpose...Romans 8:28:) I had the opportunity to take the ToBeABride.com Blog on the road and have a booth at a Bridal Show in Santa Barbara this last Sunday. And just how he likes it, Satan was trying to tear me down and make me doubt myself during the whole drive there and boy did God step right in and blow him away ALL day long! The booth consisted of a banner stating "ToBeABride.com: Live your life as a Bride to both your husband and Jesus Christ...You'll be glad you did!" and about 30 or so sample books to show women's, men's, general and pre-marital perspectives. I have been building an inventory since I started the blog so that I can have them to be given away and this was definitely a place to do it! I gave books away to engaged men, engaged women, mothers & in-laws and even some who weren't related to a "Bridal Show" situation at all, but God led them to the booth that day! The following are several stories from my day at the Bridal Show and please check back now and then to see if I added anymore stories because if I forget any by the time I post this, I'll just add them on. Please enjoy and provide comments wherever the spirit leads you. I love you all and am so thankful for how God is using this Blog for ALL OF US to encourage each other along life's roads.

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
A gentleman walked up to the booth and was looking at the books and gasped before he said, "Oh, The 5 Love Languages, that book saved my marriage." As we continued to talk, he shared how he and his wife have passed the book on to several other married couples who they feel the book has done the same for them and he even recalled one couple getting REMARRIED as a result! God, THANK YOU for using this book to touch so many marriages!
That is the point of this blog is to encourage each other and pass on ways that we can keep our marriages ALIVE and CONNECTED and following God's plan for our lives by remaining with the one He chose for us to share His roads with. Each of us can touch someone else by sharing how a book worked in our lives and these one on one heart to heart conversations share our passion for how sacred marriage is to each of us. Don't hold back if you think you have a story that can help someone else!

Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
This was the MOST commented on book during the whole day. You'd think that the women would be the talkers, but actually the men shared how touched they were all day long and especially by this book! One gentleman was at the booth with his fiance and mother/in-law and he noticed this book. He mentioned to the ladies that a friend had told him what a great book it was, so I gave it to him after he promised to read it. I gave away four of this book that day and each time I shared my husband's point of view on this book, it melted every single guy. When my husband first read this book years ago, he called me and said, "If you want to understand me, read this book called Wild at Heart."
Another Mother-in-law was at the show and has been praying for her engaged daughter and her fiance non-stop. Her daughter is letting her know how tired she is of hearing, "Have you prayed about that?" and so the mother has been trying to find other ways to let her know her daughter that she cares. She mentioned that she knows her future son-in-law really likes to read and glanced down at the books and thought out loud, "Maybe that's what I need to do is try to find something for him since he's the reader." I immediately picked up Wild at Heart and handed it to her, again sharing my husband's story. She was so excited to get that book and send it to her future son-in-law.

Romancing Your Husband by Debra White Smith
This is the cutest story! A couple walked by the booth and were standing on the corner talking when the man turned and was looking at the books on the corner of the table where Romancing Your Husband happened to be placed. He was definitely eyeing that book then he walked away for a moment. As soon as he walked away I teased the lady, "Quick, hurry, he's gone, grab that book. I'm telling ya, he was looking at that book right before he left, he'd want you to have it." She began laughing hysterically and I convinced her that I was serious and she could have the book for FREE, so she finally took it and placed it in her bag just before he returned. I'd LOVE to hear the results of that book, I hope they have fun with it AFTER their big day!

God's Word!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs Bible
There was a sweet lady who stopped by the booth and mentioned that she used to have a Bible, but doesn't really know where it is now. She was thumbing through the Hugs Bible when I mentioned that I'd love for her to have that Bible if she promises to read it every now and then and she agreed. She was so thankful, it was precious!

God's Word!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Women of Faith Bible
I only left my booth two times on Sunday, once to use a restroom and once to say a quick comment to the photographer across the way. When I glanced back at the booth, there was a young lady standing there looking at the books and I didn't want to miss anyone, so I returned. Thank you God for prompting me that she was an important person to return to! I gave her my normal comment, "I have a blog that encourages marriages and these are a sample of books that can help us along the way." I got nothing, but she was intently thumbing through the books and gazing intently. I asked, "Are you engaged?" No. "Are you dating?" Finally a smile, but a response, "No, none of that, I'm just working here today." Well, this just happened to be in the last 45 minutes of the show when nearly every vendor at their booths didn't pay hardly any attention because they were restless to pack up and leave. Thank you Lord for giving me patience this day and being attentive because where the conversation led next was unbelievable! I asked, "Have you ever owned a Bible?" and she responded "I've never even gone to church before or anything, I don't know about any of this." So I began to share about a relationship with Jesus Christ and kept going from there...she was SOOOO open and just kept listening and making eye contact and just thirsting for more. I told her I would love for her to have that Bible if she promised me she'd read it every now and then, but she said she didn't think she would...so I told her I'd love to make that sacrifice and chance that she would.

OH WHAT A DAY, THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE, I WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT, THIS IS THE DAY, THIS IS THE DAY, THAT THE LORD HAS MADE!

Good Viral Forwarding:) I PROMISE!

I received this in an Email today and couldn't help, but share it with you all!

Look back and thank God.
Look forward and trust God.
Look around and serve God.
Look within and find God!

God closes doors no man can open.
God opens doors no man can close.

"God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever...." -Psalms 73:26

Learning Love Languages!

If you haven't read the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, I recommend it! I read it when we first got married and it's one of those I want to read again! It talks about the 5 languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. I know that my language is time and boy did I get it last weekend! One of the events I work always falls on my birthday, so my husband decided to celebrate my life early and it was PERFECT! Every year for every celebration or holiday, my husband asks me what I want and I know husbands get mad when we say "Nothing," but mine finally got it! All I want is time with him!

I am reading another book right now called "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn. It was recommended to me by a mentor and then my husband bought it for me at the "Weekend to Remember" marriage retreat! What a blessing this book has been and I hope my husband starts feeling the repercussions from it because I am learning that "Words of Affirmation" is his love language through RESPECT! Very Key:) FYI, There is also a book that has a similar cover by the same author that is called "For Men Only." They are both short, easy to read books. I Corinthians 16:6-7