"They ALWAYS Say..." & It's TRUE, but...!

(They always say) So many studies say that Finances=Fights in marriages and unfortunately (it's true) many divorces.  I just wish that all those involved in divorce could have been educated a little more and been willing to give it more time and another chance because I bet a large majority of those could have been avoided if they had really learned how to simply work together on (but) finances=result of major stress reduction=a saved marriage in several cases! 

I'm always excited to share a resource when I find one and this time it's a Biblical Perspective on Finances.  If you haven't heard of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University yet, then I encourage you to take a long hard LISTEN!  My husband and I have yanked the control back and forth from each other due to exhaustion over arguing and being accused of being the reason for our tough luck for the first 6 years of our marriage, but the first day I was asked to listen to Dave's radio show...we were SUDDENLY on the same page.  We both completely agreed with him, no doubt so we better get with it and do whatever he suggests if that's the only way we are going to agree.  So we did and we've been putting some tools in practice for the last year or more and we finally have PEACE in our marriage.  It is amazing how much STRESS this one things adds to your marriage.  Phew!  And we just began Financial Peace University two weeks ago and it's a 13 week session, but we are excited to implement the rest of what we haven't done yet and make sure we really get the hang of it.  All this to say, PLEASE make the effort to look at your finances TOGETHER so that hopefully you can eliminate some unnecessary added stress on your relationship!  The goal is so that you can live and have enough to give.  Malachi 3:10 - if we are good care-takers of our finances, we will have bountiful blessings to offer to the Lord AND our missions we have passion for!

Our Husbands Want to be Brides TOO!

Many of us women love to organize every detail of the house and make sure all are cared for, but often times this means we are also saying too much and going overboard so that our husband is not left alone to take care of his duties without our barging in, you know who you are:) ~Well, I'm one of those women too and I'm not proud of it.  It's something I am constantly working on, but I have relaxed too much on "working on it" for the last year or so.  I have discovered that it is a perfect definition of not submitting and as a result turns my husband into a helpless soul who doesn't seem to get anything right...according to MY standards.  That's when I had to say WHOA there cowgirl, you need to get back in the saddle of God right now!  Ephesians 4:16

41 Years and Counting

WOW! Today my parents celebrate 41 years! I am so happy to hear them so joyful about it. My mom says they took their vows seriously, till death do us part.

Well, we are only at the beginning of our journey, but I am so thankful to have a marriage to learn from in my direct reflections in life.  We recently got our photos taken together for the first time and I'm glad we waited because now I can always remember how mature we have gotten by this point in life and what sincere joy we have found in each other and never earlier on could I have felt that our photos were so genuine.  I love my husband and it's only because of my other groom that we are where we are...Jesus Christ!  And soon we will get to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS! Have a great month celebrating with your family and loved ones why our life can be so peaceful!

On the Road Again

I spent the weekend at a Christmas Craft Fair with To Be A Bride as the focus for my booth!  It was a wonderful event where nearly 100 more people got introduced to this blog!  It was definitely different this time since most people were church attendees.  It was so fun to encourage women who think they've got it all together to bless other women with their encouragement.  That's what it's all about, a grass roots movement from those who care about each person, to keep our marriages more than going, but growing stronger and stronger.

I've never encountered so many women who think they have perfect marriages where nothing needs to change.  Well THAT'S GREAT because a lot of women CAN'T say that, but I say don't stop at yourself, share your experiences because there are many women who could use the encouragement, so keep an eye out!  AND ALSO, there is always something we can improve on so don't be afraid to look for better ways to treat your spouse, more things you could do for your spouse, ways to encourage your spouse and lift them up, etc.  Romans 12 

Be Glad You Did

The most common thing I say is: Live your life as a Bride to both your husband and Jesus Christ, you'll be glad you did!  But when things actually happen and remind me that this is true, WOW, I still get blown away. I am so thankful for how the Lord works (Isaiah 55:8-9).  I live my life striving to be a Proverbs 31 woman and it is such a precious feeling to learn that it is possible, little by little.  I used to think no woman could be all that, but if you just keep trying and keep relying on your faith in God and keep trying to live like Jesus, you TOO will begin feeling that you are fulfilling your calling in life as a wife!

What joy it brings me to encourage my husband, talk wonderfully of him (Proverbs 31:23), treat him well and serve him generously rather than being selfish with my time, mind and body to get what I want in life...it's not easy, but if you make it a habit then on those hard days it just happens because you only know how to treat him with love and respect.  I'm still a major work in progress, but I am already receiving the benefits from this unselfish living.  My husband now wants to please ME, encourage ME, talk wonderfully to ME, treat ME well and serve ME generously for what have long been the desires of my heart.  I just had to wait according to God's timing. 

Things to Think About During Desperate Times

Don't EVER let ANYBODY let you think they have the whole marriage thing down, no matter how perfect they seem as a couple in front of you. Things go on behind doors in EVERY marriage.  There are a couple MAIN things to keep in mind:

You are the ONLY one who knows BOTH sides of your marriage (your spouse does too, but I mean for people you will ever talk to or consult about your marriage)

Once you evaluate your marriage appropriately, you really need to decide whether you are IN or you are OUT and STICK with that decision otherwise it's not fair to yourself, your spouse or your kids to go up and down up and down emotionally...I know we should have made this decision when we said our wedding vows, but things change and people change after that day UNFORTUNATELY.

Are you and/or your spouse Christians and how is your RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ? Not just attending church or doing prayers, but your direct relationships with Jesus Christ? You both need to have this relationship on your own before any marriage can work the way marriage was made to work. So if one or both of you is not close to Jesus Christ then 1st YOU need to become a Christian, I can help you do that if you want and 2nd YOU need to live a life as a beautiful bride so that your spouse will be drawn to that lifestyle.  This is THE determining factor in your marriage along with knowing that YOU are the ONLY thing you can change.
Hopefully these are some good things to think about:) I Corinthians 7:12-16

Submission is KEY, Whether We Like It or Not:)

I have a friend who it has been so BEAUTIFUL to see her transform into such a wonderful BRIDE to her husband. The Lord confirmed His love for her the other day through her husband when He used her husband to tell her...I would never be able to stay home and do what you do, I'm so glad you have chosen to stay at home and be there for our kids! This melted her and it was so sweet to listen to her share it with me:) Thank you Lord for an honest husband that is not afraid to tell his wife how much he appreciates her!

The best part about this is that I remember when they got married, my friend said what is this "Submit to your husband business?" Ephesians 5. And now that she has experienced her awesome husband submitting to the Lord and unknowingly her submitting to her husband, she has experienced the awesome feeling of this "Submitting to your husband business!" What a precious example she has been to her husband, friends, family and now her children...so precious.

I too, have learned how beautiful submission can be with an obvious example recently! I have worked in the Fair Industry for over 10 years now and three of the last five years of our marriage have endured my patient husband at home alone while I'm working away for weeks at a time (one year for months at a time). I love this industry and have had a very hard time distancing myself from it, but during these three years I have always wanted to start a family...which beings I want to be a stay-at-home Mom, you can see how this lifestyle won't work! So, my husband asked me to not spend more than two days away at any given time this next year, which means "Oh brother, I have to turn down three of my best and most loyal clients who have become my friends AND have Faith that the Lord will provide financially somehow someway." I did it, well, the Lord did it because there is NO WAY, I would have been able to call these people alone and every one of them have been so understanding and encouraging!!! Thank you Lord, and the best is yet to come...My husband is ready to look at "this family stuff" now:) My on-going prayers were answered simply by me submitting to my husband. Psalm 37:3-7...hmmm, this just might be my NEW life passage, what a beautiful passage!